Mar 26th, 2020
Green Tea Episode 8
There once was a boy named Chad.
His mother confused him with Thad.
Forgets the name of each man
Who’s entered her clam,
The mom’s been cheating on Dad.
Stream of Consciousness
This format kinda works, just having a sheet of paper that I write everything that comes to mind, in any form. It’s the most streamlined, productive way of doing things. I can’t think of any other way. Fuck I forgot what I was going to say.
These could be good appendixes of / supplementals for each episode. Maybe I’ll keep these private / to myself and release them as paid extras, like I was planning on releasing the early episodes, redoing the show and taking down the old unpolished episodes, sitting on the recordings of the early episodes, and putting them behind a paywall. Or maybe releasing for just patrons only. Say I don’t mind if they pirate the shit, but it’s just a nice way for me to get some revenue for the show and some capital for the hard work I put in. Maybe once I have enough money where I don’t have to nickel-and-dime with everything, I’ll have a mindset that’s less greedy in regards to this show. But right now all I can think of is ways to make this as principled and enjoyable as possible, while also making some profit off of it. [I'm less concerned now about the profit, the podcast is so fun and rewarding for me as is.]
By the way, I thought I should mention that I made a deal with the devil tonight. I feel like I metaphorically shook hands with the devil to accept the shadow as a part of my life that I will use to my advantage. I had the option to live a life without pain and suffering but sacrificing greater knowledge, but I chose the opposite, where I’d willingly accept chaos for the sake of greater knowledge. This deal might have sacrificed my relationship stability, though, and that’s frightening. That accepting life’s pain might be accepting/allowing for a romantic life that’s more painful than it's ever been, multiple times over. I knew that I was signing myself up for lots of disaster on the way to “heaven” / “Nirvana,” but I accept anyway, and deep down I think I made the best decision, a worthy decision.